Be your own friend
My recent unhappiness stems from my inability to cope with the stresses of personal responsibilities and fears of disappointment. At it’s worst, it cripples me and my ability to think all day. I over sleep, I run away from my issues and it snow balls into a terrible cycle of binge eating in bed watching tv series and movies.. I’ll feel fat and bloated and even more horrible.. it’s a form of self-sabotage. And I loathe and resent myself for it.
I’ve been struggling, I feel lost. I don’t know how to cope with myself and this rut I’ve gotten myself into. I’m angry and I feel hopeless.
You are stronger than you think!
The only limits you have are the ones in your mind!
At this rate, you have nothing to loose, but know this: Only you can help yourself! But notice the “you can” in that phrase! It all starts with you.
Let’s go back to basics. To the core of the problem, you!
Look after yourself, because you must learn to love yourself before you can learn to love other. Give yourself the gift of love, AND WHY NOT?! Who else do you expect to respect and love you if it’s not something you can practise yourself! If you don’t respect yourself enough to practise the act of loving yourself then BE the person you would respect and want to be! Give yourself the opportunity to be who you aspire to be!
Eat regular healthy meals, exercise, get a good nights rest! Be responsible, look your homework, go to all your classes, go to work on time, make time for yourself - go for a skate, read a book, make time for family - visit them, have a conversation, make time for your friends - call them, have a coffee together .. things will flow better because you will feel better.
Above all, be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and accept that you are not perfect but that each moment you fight, you resist against the urge to give up, you are growing! You are growing into a stronger person, and one day your fear will have no power over you, not if you don’t let it!
And when you live yourself like this, through kindness and love to yourself, then every act becomes an act of giving, Imagine that! How beautiful life would be, with so much love!
And always remember, “every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around!”
Acts of Love
There are the little things in life we get so used to we don’t even notice.
Having people in your life who you can go to in moments of bliss, anxiousness, loneliness, who’s friendship is a safe haven because they will listen without judgement and make you feel heard, less alone, and above all accepted for who you are. The people who are simply there for us to pick up our phone calls, read our rambling texts, these acts of Love are so often overlooked and under appreciated.
But they are perhaps what keeps us sane.
Don’t forget to show your gratitude and remind those around you for how much you appreciate their constant gifts of love!
Because listening to Sigur Ros never hurt anyone.
<3
(Source: Spotify)
I had a moment of clarity where I’ve realised that actions we decide to make or don’t make can both become regrets. Even those which we feel are the best choice of action and are happy with, at the time, can be looked back upon with regret and resentment.
It’s a terrifying thought. And it paralyses me with fear.
I hate, I loathe it, that it has this control over me.
More so, I hate it because the worst decision or course of action is no action at all.
And then I realise that in our dimension of reality, the only thing we can do is to keep leaning forward, to keep moving into the future and all the infinite possibilities we have yet met. And the worst possible thing to let this fear do is make us idle because the world will spin without you, whether you carry regrets or none at all.
And that thought is probably the most comforting and hopeful thing I can think of.
Just live; otherwise you are just dying.
Love fearlessly
Never loose Love to fear.
It will drive you crazy with regret and powerlessness.
Because, second chances rarely exist.
A forgettable moment may be another person’s most cherished memory.
A simple act of kindness can become a sacred memory.
It’s the little things in life.
Regrets
I caved into my fear. My fear of the unknown, of our connectedness, of the possibility of how much I might of loved you. Fear of getting hurt.
But now, I sit here alone, realising that my biggest fear should of being loosing you.
Even though my heart aches from missing your presence in my life, I like to think that maybe you were apart of my life for the moments that you were, to teach me to never cave into the fear, but instead to always embrace the infinite chaos of this life.
I’m grateful for once meeting someone so special.
And having you love me for who I was, it’s pretty humbling.
I’m not going to let my regrets hold my future, but instead allow it to remind me to never cave but always embrace. And, know that you’re an important character in my story.

